The Boondocks Life Lessons – Part 4

Make sure you read Part One, Part Two and Part Three to get all The Boondocks life lessons handed down thus far. 


Just because a woman seems too good to be true doesn’t mean she is (Season 3-Episode 11 “The Lovely Ebony Brown”)


Grandpa Freeman & Ebony Brown


Robert “Grandpa” Freeman had been a man searching for true love since the series’ inception. From prostitutes to women lying about how they really looked on dating websites to killer kung fu wolf-raising women with questionable pasts had come and gone, but none left a larger impression on Robert than Ms. Ebony Brown. Of course, after swearing off relationships during a morning jog, Freeman encountered a gorgeous woman who cared more about her health than her hair being pretty. The brief interaction resulted in a date that opened Robert’s eyes o the fact there were some decent, upstanding women left in this world.


Ebony Brown


Not only did Ms. Brown have no debt or a jail record, she also started a non-profit organization that cured Paterson’s disease (a disease that afflicted Tom Dubois’ wife’s grandmother). Just when things were going good, Robert found Uncle Ruckus and even his own mind trying to convince him that either Brown wanted something from him other than companionship or had a fling on the side. Think about it – what would a beautiful, healthy, somewhat unconventional woman want with some old, paranoid, man with two out-of-control grandchildren living on a fixed incoming? She could’ve been dating a star, an athlete, a genius (someone in her league), but she seemingly settled for Robert.


Grandpa & Ebony Brown


Robert tried to change his ways, putting on a hardened façade before succumbing to the stress of not hearing from his woman in less than a day. By the episode’s end, Robert’s fear fueled him to follow her to Malaysia … where she was helping an area recover from the latest typhoon to hit its people, not hooking up with a Malaysian male prostitute.

Robert’s heartbreak is proof that just because you believe the perfect woman is too good for you doesn’t mean she feels the same way. Her fear is not settling for someone, but losing her role as a positive, ego-boosting actress in your crazy, episodic series you call, “Life.”


Even if you’re prepared for the apocalypse, the people around you won’t be no matter what you do (Season 3-Episode 13 “The Fried Chicken Flu”)


Boondocks Flu


Society is seemingly ready for the “ish” to hit the fan. From movies to TV shows, the end of the world has been depicted in various forms; caused by everything from the dead rising up to global warming. But it seemed the society’s real threat was not beyond its control. As Huey Freeman continued his preparation for the upcoming Armageddon, the rest of America readied itself for Kernel’s Fried Chicken latest variation of its famous chicken.




While “Grandpa” Freeman mocked his grandson’s ambitions for securing his family’s safety when everything goes downhill, fights over the remaining buckets of Kernel’s chicken broke loose. Sickness spread throughout Woodcrest not long after the chicken’s release. The connection created the term “The Fried Chicken Flu” and saw people near and far who knew about Huey’s end-of-the-world preparation come to the Freeman house. Almost worse than individuals trying to sponge off of Huey’s work was his grandfather and brother willingly inviting people into their home (a house made for only three people to survive in according to Huey) while using supply food and pushing the electric generator to its max.

The structured plan Huey organized quickly fell apart thanks to ignorance as Thugnificent joined the house and his friend Leonard brought Buffalo wings with him because Leonard believed the wings came from a buffalo. Tom, also too stupid to not eat any chicken by-product, came down with the flu and sent everyone scurrying out of the sanctity of the house while running from a Road Warrior/Mad Max organization featuring Uncle Ruckus and the Neighborhood Watch.




In the end, the flu was nothing more than salmonella poisoning, with no one dying thanks to this supposedly dangerous virus. Even though the fall of society didn’t occur due to “The Fried Chicken Flu”, Huey’s unintended failure proved that no matter how hard you try to prepare for the world’s end, ignorance and a willingness to not read materials distinctly created to increase your chances of survival will destroy any hope of living through society’s collapse.


N-Word Moment/N-Word Synthesis (Season 1-Episode 4 “Granddad’s Fight”; Season 2-Episode 4 “Stinkmeaner Strikes Back”; Season 3-Episode 5 “Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy”)


Nigga Moment


This is probably the greatest lesson to come from “The Boondocks”. The “N-Word Moment” is a moment where ignorance overwhelms the logic of an otherwise rational Negro indivudal often caused by something relatively innocent (like bumping into someone on the street, or having your sneakers stepped on). A “N-Word Moment” usually ends in violence and/or death. Not even Robert “Grandpa” Freeman was excused from being dragged into his moment thanks to Colonel H. Stinkmeaner ramming his favorite ride the elderly Freeman affectionately called “Dorothy” and stepping on his new shoes. Furious, Robert tried to attack this hateful man older than him, only to be tripped and beaten by his cane. Oh, and Stinkmeaner happened to be blind.




Thanks to his grandson Riley, news networks and even Uncle Ruckus, Grandpa Freeman was unable to accept his embarrassment and let go of his hatred for Stinkmeaner. Thanks to Riley’s promotional skills and Huey’s martial arts training, Robert prepared to redeem himself against this believed zatoichi (the blind samurai). In actuality, Stinkmeaner was just a crazy blind man who got a lucky shot on Robert. Just to prove that these moments are dangerous, Freeman’s one punch knockout ended in Stinkmeaner’s immediate death. Thanks to a successful boxing license application, Grandpa walked away with blood on his hands, but not having to serve jail time.


Stinkmeaner Dies


Sadly for Robert and his family, “N-Word Moments” don’t end just because of silly, ol’ death. Stinkmeaner would come back to possess and empower the body of lawyer Tom Dubois; attacking the Freeman household until rapper Ghostface Killah (who started astral projecting himself to Huey to warn him of Stinkmeaner’s impending return) reminded Huey that any confrontational moment can only truly end in peace. Using Uncle Ruckus (who was an ordained minister that could perform exorcisms) and Stinkmeaner’s mutual hatred for African-Americans to find peace, the initial “N-Word Moment” was over … or so everyone thought.


Stinkmeaner Exorcism


The problem with “N-Word Moments” is the fact they can spread beyond the original people responsible. Following Stinkmeaner’s demise, his only friends, The Hateocracy (who parodied Fred Sanford and Esther from “Sanford & Son”, and J.J. from “Good Times”) went on a search for vengeance and creation of a new phrase, “N-Word Synthesis”.



The Hateocracy


This coming together of individuals through hatred (“N-Word Synthesis”) added to the original reason for Stinkmeaner’s demise (“N-Word Moment”) equaled a complete disaster as legendary martial artist and bodyguard Bushido Brown met his end through decapitation and The Hateocracy being put in jail (the only other way to end a “N-Word Moment”).


Hateocracy Fight


If you’re ever caught in a potential “N-Word Moment”, take a step back and quickly examine the situation. If you don’t, the only potential outcomes are death and jail because even peace has a way of failing sooner than later.


And there’s no doubt more lessons will be given to us loyal viewers when the fourth season premieres.


Boondocks Season 4


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