It was the first time you heard a particular note, drum beat or electronically created sound that made your ears tingle, your heart skip a beat and resonated with your soul. This is “My Song” – a series where the music that makes the person is spotlighted. James Bullock writes about a song that helped him understand the struggles of life being a blessing in disguise.
Though my life was going a lot better compared to months prior, mental hang-ups still caused the tail end of 2009 to be incredibly taxing. I had a spiritual revelation (and you don’t have to be “believer” to have one of those, mind you), yet struggled to let go of the emotions, thoughts and mentally destructive lifestyle that I had become accustomed to over the past few years. One week after revelation, I had the chance to sit down and watch “UFC 107”. During the show, fan favorite Clay Guida came to the ring, rocking out to a song that I had never heard before and would eventually research and listen to in its entirety. The energy in Guida’s movements translated through the screen and got me excited about what was to come.
So here’s Clay Guida, about to step into a octagon-shaped cage to not only get legally assaulted, but potentially lose after spending weeks, months, and essentially years putting himself grueling training to get to this point (and losing was his fate that night). Yet he was enjoying the single moment of continuing to live his dream even if that dream turned into a nightmare. Clay had accepted the good with the bad (as seen during his post-fight actions when he nonchalantly got up, shook his opponent’s hand and did a lap around the cage). I wasn’t positioned in life where I thought I would be at that time. But instead of lamenting as I had been doing, thinking about “what ifs” and asking, “Why me?” I accepted the fact that this was a single point in, hopefully, a long and meaningful life. In truth, I was being forced to continue a lifelong journey of ups and downs that would help me reach that far-off pinnacle. I still haven’t experienced that point of personal success, but I’m enjoying the grind; the natural struggle because that’s life in general. I’m working toward the realization of a dream and it makes me feel alive.