Winter Begins

Around this time last year I wrote about a church sermon that helped change my view of my life at that time. The simple title of “Seasons” meant and means more to me than just the falling of leaves or scorching pavement. Seasons in life represent both good and bad times, eras of greatness and disappointment. By the end of “Seasons”, I had accepted my time in the “winter” was over, yet my mind still focused on those days (causing my attitude to reflect that depressing time). Though I’ve moved on, I can’t help but remember my winter season beginning around this time of the year.


2007 was a true year of extremes. After suffering scholastic failures on the tail end of 2006, I entered the New Year upset with myself and my potential ability to overcome a mathematical obstacle. As spring came closer and closer, my life was turning for the better. School was going great, I had a fun girl on my arm and my friends were close enough to meet up and chill whenever I had the chance.


Summer came into fruition and, though I didn’t have a girlfriend anymore, my obstacles in school were destroyed thanks to a great teacher (Professor Brian Jones) and my friends were still there to support me and make yours truly see just how entertaining life could be. When I started the fall semester of college, I made a vow to myself to get another girlfriend. I eventually achieved that goal, but only after I suffered a crushing blow. On Halloween 2007, I totaled my first car.


It was a definitive knock to my independence, as I had to rely on my parents to either drive me around or let me use their vehicles when they didn’t need them. Lets just say trying to keep things cool with your girlfriend in a budding relationship when you can’t take her out when she’s available doesn’t help your cause to keep her interested. But she seemed okay with the situation … until the week before our final exams. Not being together as much as she wanted, she felt we were more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. Add that to the fact she wanted to pursue someone else from her high school days reinforced her belief that the relationship had no legs.


Though I understood where she came from, being dumped after wrecking my car, trying to study for finals, and having to explain to our mutual friends why things ended without making her look bad (because I’m so stupid/nice that I still wanted to be friends) hurt big time. It was a weird feeling being dumped for the first time made even worse two days after the breakup when I found out my ex was telling people how I was pretty much a failed test subject in this girl’s boyfriend experiment. The crippling of my image thanks to her actually hindered an opportunity I had gaining the interest of someone else that I had eyes for during my girlfriend hunt who now thought I was like a TLC-level scrub. By the end of that semester, she had killed two relationships (one real and one potential).


Shortly before 2007 came to an end, I met up with my old elementary schoolyard girlfriend and fantastic guest writer for this site. We were both suffering from our mutual relationships ending rather controversially (you can read about Serena’s Holiday Heartbreak). It felt weird that I, starting to feel exhaustion from weeks of mental turmoil waning on me, was giving the inspirational words. We walked away feeling better, but it seemed like this was just the beginning of a long, painful road. Sadly, I was right.


It would take a while before the snow melted and I could step outside, feeling the sunrays of spring touch my soul. Yet, I never forget that life can throw you an unexpected curveball followed by another that clocks you right between the eyes. You’ll stumble around, trying to figure out what happened before having to take a seat to recover. Aching, you’ll sit there and wonder if it’s as bad as you think. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. But the pain eventually goes away. And just like the seasons of our lives that plague our happiness, they too shall pass.


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