(Mark sure you read part one) There have been many unfortunate casualties in television history as shows both fantastic & ahead of its time don’t connect with audiences or networks to keep them alive. In 2011, Loren Bouchard’s latest foray into the world of animated sit-coms allowed potential viewers to get to know The Belcher Family. After a rough start critically, “Bob’s Burgers” became a hit amongst viewers looking to feel a little less weird and little more … well, still weird. Welcome to the “Bob’s Burgers Life Lesson” series (season one – part two).
Appreciate Your Parents’ Sacrifices (Episode 6: “Sheesh! Cab, Bob?”)
There are very few things bigger in a young person’s life than hitting the big thirteen. With Linda insisting their oldest child have a birthday party. Tina had her exact plan for the perfect party in her mind; letting everyone know what would be a true coming-of-age experience including a DJ, smoke machine and, most importantly, a disco ball that would be the party’s mistletoe so she could kiss the son of Bob’s nearby business rival & nemesis, Jimmy Presto Jr. To earn the extra money so he could pay for Tina’s party, Bob was offered the opportunity to drive a cab owned by his landlord, Mr. Fischoeder. It didn’t take long for Bob to enter a world he never knew existed after the obvious growing pains that come with being a cabbie including vomiting drunks and intoxicated couples making out. Befriending a group of transvestite prostitutes, Bob eventually found himself both exhausted and satisfied with the amount of money his journey into the night brought to his family.
Of course everything didn’t pan out as planned for Tina as her infatuation’s father hated Bob so much he forbade Jimmy Jr. from going to the party. Tina, still childlike in nature, threw a hissy fit while disregarding all of the hard work her father put in to deliver on the party of a lifetime including Bob sacrificing his legendary mustache as a way to pay Jimmy Sr. into letting his son attend the party. Thanks to Bob’s connections with a group of night-based ladies, the truth of Jimmy Sr.’s fetishes allowed for Tina – who finally understood how much Bob gave to ensure everything worked out in a womanly manner – as she eventually got her birthday wish by dancing under the disco ball with “JJ” before their lips locked in a moment of unbridled passion. As seen in a previous episode (“Sexy Dance Fighting”), but greatly emphasized during this one, fathers like Bob will do anything to make sure their children are as happy as possible even if it means barely getting an hour of sleep a day, shaving off a precious piece of facial hair, or essentially becoming a pimp.
Sometimes A Lie is Better Than the Truth (Episode 8: “Art Crawl”)
Poor Linda Belcher found herself in a problematic situation yet again thanks to the arrival of her artistically inclined, yet emotionally fragile sister Gayle. With the town’s annual “Art Crawl” festival happening, it was the perfect time for Gayle to unleash her newest subject for painting: animal anuses. Thanks to Bob & Linda agreeing to support Gayle without the knowledge of what she would paint, horror overtook them when their restaurant became littered with horse, cat, dog, money and pig booties that, like Mona Lisa’s eyes, followed the observer no matter where they went in the restaurant (the few brave enough to eat in front of a bunch of orifices). Unbeknownst to the Belchers, Bob wasn’t the only one upset upon seeing animal anuses covering the walls of a store as the owners of the town’s only art store – “Reflections” – rallied to see Bob remove the obscene art. And like so many times in his life, pride overwhelmed Bob when he ordered his sister-in-law to paint to her heart’s content even if it meant his store wouldn’t sell a single burger for the entire festival.
The mix of Bob’s stubbornness and Linda’s need to protect her sister’s feelings resulted in several confrontations and both Bob almost getting arrested for vandalism when he went on a butthole-painting rampage in the art store after Linda (unbeknownst to her family) painted panties on Gayle’s art and blamed it on the “Reflections” owners. Thanks to Louise’s ruthlessness as an amateur artist manager (with pimp-like verbal abuse on her clients), her father paid his way out of a jail stay. Understanding that lying to Gayle was essentially the reason for all of this insanity, Bob & Linda decided they’d be upfront with Gayle and their lack of enjoyment when it came to her painting style. But seeing the joy in Gayle’s eyes after unveiling her latest works featuring pants and “huge, pendulous breasts”, the family stuck with the status quo in supporting Gayle. While being upfront and honest with people is usually the best cause of action, there are times when you just have to understand some people can’t handle the reality of truth or are a mix of weird emotions at all times.
Never Meet Your Heroes (Episode 13: “Torpedo”)
What should’ve been a glorious day at the ballpark quickly turned into another disappointment for the Belcher family as an intended ad on the baseball field seemed more like a piece of paper caught in the fence than a banner similar to the ones directly below it & perfectly sized for all viewers. Between Gene getting enamored with mascot racing and his poorly-sized advert, Bob discovered his role model and short-term major leaguer Torpedo Jones was now playing for the town’s minor league team The Wonderdogs. Bob eventually thanked his hero for helping Gene participate and succeed in the mascot races by giving Torpedo one of his “legendary” burgers. Ironically enough, after eating Bob’s burger Torpedo found himself pitching out players left & right just like he did in the majors. Thanks to Tina getting a job as The Wonderdogs’ ball girl (a job she requested to simply slap the players’ butts), Torpedo was able to get a burger made by her father that he didn’t eat, but actually greased his balls with before every pitch.
With Linda soon discovering that Bob informed his children cheating was okay for entertainment, Bob was stuck with confronting Torpedo about his abilities and his need not to cheat to succeed. Come to find out, Torpedo cheated throughout his entire career including during the infamous “The Pitch”. Learning from his role model (weird because they were the same age), Bob encouraged his son to not be like Torpedo and win or lose with honor. It’s always best to not meet your heroes. The experience is usually disappointing once you discover the person you looked up to is a constant cheater. And if you do want to idolize someone, make sure they’re old so you never have a chance to grow up and confront a horrible person you admired because he/she would already be dead.
