There have been many unfortunate casualties in television history as shows both fantastic & ahead of its time don’t connect with audiences or networks to keep them alive. In 2011, Loren Bouchard’s latest foray into the world of animated sit-coms allowed potential viewers to get to know The Belcher Family. After a rough start critically, “Bob’s Burgers” became a hit amongst viewers looking to feel a little less weird and little more … well, still weird. Welcome to the “Bob’s Burgers Life Lesson” series (season three).
Don’t Break the 8th Commandment (Episode 1: “Ear-sy Rider”)
While little Louise Belcher has always been a pillar of self-confidence for the show’s entirety, one thing stands out about her that questioned her belief in herself: Louise’s bunny ear hat. After a hostile encounter with three skateboarding teenagers, Louise found herself the victim of bullying as the teenager’s vocalized leader Logan stole her hat; sending Louise into a psychotic fit topped by her quest to regain her property from the much larger & quicker thief. Rather than simply telling her parents – who were dealing with a little situation of their own as a local motorcycle gang known as the “One-Eyed Snakes” used Bob’s Burgers for a funeral repast resulting in destroyed stools, broken beer bottles & even a fistfight – Louise decided to tell Logan’s parents about his terrible ways. Upset over his parents discovering the truth, Logan admitted to trashing Louise’s prized possession – really sending her into the depths of insanity.
With no reason to hold back, Louise let loose the One-Eyed Snakes on Logan with the promise of an ear (or ears) for an ear; Logan’s ears! The scare tactics worked and Logan returned the hat he lied was destroyed. Logan having his de-stressing session turn into a moment of stealing from a kid proved that no one, no matter the physical or mental superiority, should take from someone else against his/her will as the end result is never good for the thief. In the case of Logan, he discovered hell hath no fury like Louise Belcher. And in the case of Logan’s parents, having a not-so-morally conscious child could result in two white-collar individuals potentially being torn apart by a biker gang like someone’s leather jacket caught in a wreck with a semi.
Leave No Man (or Woman or Child) Behind (Episode 2: “Full Bars”)
The Belcher kids found themselves on the precipice of greatness in regards to getting the figurative golden goose … made of chocolate during a Halloween night romp. Breaking away from the clutches of supervised trick or treating, the Louise-led trio featuring herself as Edward Scissorhands, her brother and sister as Queen Latifa & a Mommy Mummy respectively took a boat ride to King’s Head Island – a literal resort for kids looking to attain the most impressive pieces of candy & chocolate bars possible. But like any great thing to be obtained there’s someone wandering around to ruin the quest – in the case of the Belchers and their new friends of Milo & Ned those spoilers were a group of raging teenagers looking to keep the tradition of terrorizing kids just trying to enjoy their night out while collecting sugary treats. Escaping the “Hell Hunt” practitioners, Louise & her siblings had to make a choice: Leave for the mainland or go back & save the captured kids being assaulted by teenagers with too much time on their hands.
Without enough game to convince the local popular girl to pay attention to them and a cooler holding urine-filled balloons these unreasonably hateful teenagers had the King’s Head Island pre-teens dead to rights. Tina, being the voice of reason, convinced Louise & Gene that the only way they could enjoy their candy was by saving those who enlightened them about the greatness of King’s Head Island. Their harrowing escape aided by those they saved from many ounces of urine capped off an impressive night for the Belcher kids. In the end the Tina-led rescuers learned that you never leave someone behind when they need you the most even if it means losing a whole bag of candy in the process.
The Truth is Always Greater Than a Lie (Episode 7: “Tinarannosaurus Wrecks”)
As per the norm with the eldest Belcher kid Tina and her father a simple chance to treat his daughter turned everything upside-down for Bob. Given the opportunity to drive around in an empty parking lot with her dad by her side, the painfully anxious Tina somehow hit the only other car parked – a car belonging to Bob’s rival Jimmy Pesto. Bob had to convince Tina – a very ethically-inclined individual – to lie to anyone asking about what really happened. The tag team of lying eventually found themselves in the middle of an insurance scam headed by their family’s insurance adjuster as his house burned down while his invited caterers of the Belcher family were cooking incredibly close to the disaster site.
The constant need to lie in hopes of saving his automobile insurance wrecked Tina emotionally & mentally; a situation made even worse by the fact their insurance adjuster voiced his plans to continue a string of “accidents” while utilizing Bob & his family as the “victims”. It would take some quick thinking and the usage of Gene’s recordable keyboard, but Tina’s need to expose the truth allowed for his family to be saved from destroying their home in a mad quest for money caused by greed when their insurance adjuster incriminated himself by stating he’d pulled off many a caper. Everyone makes mistakes, but lying about those mistakes can cause even more trouble than the initial problem. It’s easier to just tell the truth because if you don’t you may be left with an offspring constantly making weird, unsettling sounds of nervousness.
Don’t Fake Love (or Like-Like) (Episode 8: “The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene”)
There’s this very odd belief that every girl wants to find that special someone who reminds them of their father. So wouldn’t you know it that a loudmouth, necklace-chewing abrasive schoolmate would find the musically-inclined Gene attractive? Though Gene (and even his sisters) didn’t care for his admirer Courtney, the peer pressure proved to be too much for him to deny; putting Gene in a perilous situation where he didn’t want to be connected to Courtney while being too emotionally weak to break her obnoxious & congenital defective heart. After much sisterly coaching and even an agreement from his father that “Gene & Courtney Forever” shouldn’t be a thing, Gene mustered up the courage to break up with her in the safest place possible: her own home.
Ironically enough it was his arrival at Courtney’s abode that he discovered her father was a jingle maker. Gene sacrificed his dignity & family’s approval for the sake of making it big in music business by hopefully earning a record deal after Courtney’s dad heard his song at her birthday party. With Courtney at the obvious center of attention during her big day, Gene’s inability to hold back his disgust regarding everything about her spewed forth when she refused to let Gene be a solo musical act; setting off her heart condition to the point that his declaration of, “Stop breathing!” actually caused his girlfriend to stop breathing. After a trip to the hospital and Courtney faking her demise, Gene finally saw the light and ended things with Courtney (thus shutting off his chance to become a jingle king). Being with someone you have nothing in common with & annoys you constantly even if its benefits such as that significant other having a cool dad won’t end well. Seriously, your words may actually kill (or at least hospitalize) that person you can’t tolerate in the supposed name of love when a volcano of negative emotions overwhelm you at the worst possible moment.
Celebrate Love (Episode 9: “God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins”)
Bob & his family got an early Christmas present during season three as they inherited the contents of his deceased uncle’s storage unit: a squatter named Chet who worked in the window display of the Belcher relative’s department store. Chet showcased his window display-crafting skills by creating festive designs for the restaurant’s main window with him actually becoming a part of the display. The incredible stillness of Chet during each impressive window display was only matched by his undying love for his estranged wife: a mannequin with two left hands named “Nadine”. Bob’s bluntness about Chet not being a mannequin-turned-real man set their house guest off as his displays became incredibly dark & violent; ruining the streak of actual customers coming into the restaurant.
With Chet broken and people growing furious after the Belchers’s attempt to hide the horror, Bob was forced to go on a hunt for Nadine; finding her in a local sex shop. Bob, not necessarily realizing that he should encourage Chet’s thirst for Nadine’s love, but simply wanting to have the best day of gift card sales possible, spent all the money made during their holiday rush to buy Nadine. Bob’s generosity spread to his kids as they willingly accepted no extra presents from their parents to ensure Chet’s happiness. Love is a powerful thing that knows no bounds including between inanimate objects. Don’t be judgmental; just celebrate love in its purest form whenever you can.
You Don’t Know What You Got Until It’s Gone (Episode 11: “Nude Beach”)
The old rivalry continued as Hugo the health inspector attempted to ruin Bob’s day by punishing him for not having completed hand-washing training; posting a sign informing potential customers Bob & crew have dirty hands. Hugo’s continued quest to make the area’s food as sanitary as possible actually turned Hugo into a man of counterculture as he became a nudist while inspecting the recently opened nude beach. Unfortunately for Bob, his new lead health inspector turned out to be something of a psycho. Tommy Jaronda introduced himself not as an uptight inspector, but a rock star in the making just looking to moonlight at various restaurants with his brand of music featuring a one-man band. That “band” eventually made its way to Bob’s Burgers and, through very sexually graphic & misogynistic lyrics, ran away the few customers looking for a nice meal and not being demeaned for their lacking sexual prowess compared to Tommy’s.
Bob couldn’t help but get fed up with Tommy’s musical offerings, kicking the health inspector out while getting shut down by the vengeful Jaronda. There was only one person that could help Bob; leading to the Belcher patriarch begging for Hugo to come back to his old job. Thinking on his feet, Bob challenged Hugo to the “Nudecathlon” with the Hugo actually defeating his rival. Thankfully for Bob, the competition awakened Hugo’s true passion: Shutting down Bob’s Burgers legally. As they always say, you never know what you have until it’s gone. In Bob’s case having a tyrannical health inspector still pining for his wife is a lot better than dealing with some terrible would-be rocker holding a supply of rat waste to sabotage even the greatest restaurant.
